Friday, March 18, 2005


As of right now life sucks.... No friends Less church. My work on my grades are useless now, because I made a dumb mistake. I have a lot of peer leadership stuff I wanna do, but I probably can't for awhile. I hate my life. But... details!

Peer Leadership-

I'm going to start a peer leadership. I'll be speaking to younger kids grade 4-8 about drug abuse, teen pregnancy, dating violence and alcohol. My teachers say I would be very good at that, and I have good charisma skills.

My Goals-

-Start neighborhood cleaning service. Me and some friends would clean local lakes, ponds, parks and highways.

-Start a teen hotline for the St. Louis Area.

-Become a peer leader. I wanna travel all over to do this stuff.

- Get a job in college and in life as a teen counsellor.

- Get daddy's trust back, so I can hook up with my friends to put forth this stuff.

My Mistakes

Being untrusted by my parental figures sucks. Yesterday I was "cool" and skipped. I guess even though I swear I don't care what other people think, I do. I got told that it was cool that I skipped to be at home, lazy and sleeping, but I didn't brag about it anymore. It just wasn't cool. Not only did I get caught, but now my dad thinks it was something more than what it was. My boyfriend has been off school all week, so I guess my dad put 2 and 2 together and got 5. 5 obviously being the WRONG answer. I slept, played video games and ate, while my dad thought I was at school. My b/f was at his g.mas, to my awareness.

Nothing happened!! And nothing more than kissing will happen until I'm married. I'm doing whats right when it comes to that. Waiting til marriage has been VERY, VERY important to me since I started going to church last year. It really brought my self esteem and self worth up. (sex sounds like it will hurt anyway! *rip* eek! MINE!!! plus teen pregnacy and all....just NO)
Plus this field trip I went on today even more made me wanna wait and be a good girl. God wants it to be special, and I want to honor him in doing so. ( by the way my b/f agrees about the marriage thing)

* Dad, if your reading this I'm sorry! I made a huge mistake, but I wanna make it up to you. You know I respect you and want to still be like friends with you. I feel I can tell you anything, and I feel really bad now for lying to you. I woke up crying last night at about 2am, because of this. I had a dream you dis-owned me for this. I guess I went to the doctor and my watchamabob was broken (the lil I dont know what its called. A hem or something) From a tampon I guess. No clue the dream didn't make sense. It was someting like it should be in a sci-fi movie. Like I clue. All I know is that you and mom disowned me for something that I didn't do. Like mom said if I lyed about skipping why wouldn't I lie about that. Maybe that was the point of the dream. PLEASE....please...give me another chance. Please. I love you and miss you. I'll see you later....


Tuesday, March 15, 2005


Not really....but.... Toes gonna kill me. She read my cameltot blogger and she is not happy about it. She thinks I'm degrading her I guess. I feel so bad now for being CamelToes spawn..... I hope she knows that I'm not doing this for that reason. Its FUNNY. So sorry I take after my dad. I have a sense of humor.....As soon as I figure out how to do it, the email from her will follow!!!

CamelTot. (the one and ONLY)