Lies...

What am I again... Changing... Making wrong decisions. But, I'm greatful my dad now has something to do with my life. He used to sleep...eat...and work....PERIOD! If I wanted something I was on my own, or I had to get my mom (CT) to help me. Thank the Lord my dad changed and now sees me as an individual, not a piece of trash, like he used to make me feel. I know he never hated me or anything, but actions speak louder than words... I mean just because like 2 times a week he told me he loved me, I was expected to believe it... Riiight.... Well, its great I can talk to him about stuff now. I used to be so alone... so far away from my family. I didn't want to talk to my mom about my dad, because she would tell him and he would get mad I thought he hated me.

What has he taught me? The things he tells me is stuff I can't repeat. Not that I don't want to, I'm like incapable. He inserts new feeling into my heart. My heart reminds me not to lie.... not to cheat... not to "screw my dad around", as he puts it. Why would I want to ruin the trust he has in me and TF? It makes no sense, but without thought I continously do it. Now I have to miss the concert tomarrow night, all because my mind was temporarily on a coffee break or something. He is going to talk to us both today, which sure, makes me nervous, but I think it is for the best...


Thats all I wanna say 4 now...I have a headache...=P


-Camel Tot-